This content originally appeared on HackerNoon and was authored by Scott D. Clary
Hi All!
\ Here is my weekly letter on mental models, performance, business and entrepreneurship.
\ If you love this content (please share it), but also…
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\ What’s in today’s newsletter?
\ I had Dr. John Delony on the podcast.
\ He’s a mental & emotional health expert, national bestselling author & host of The Dr. John Delony Show.
\ We spoke about a major topic that pretty much affects all of us. Anxiety.
\ The message?
\ If you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed, and anxious?
\ You’re not alone.
\ People everywhere are facing a mental health crisis fueled by a paradox:
- Modern life is too comfortable. We’ve engineered away the challenges that our bodies crave, leaving a void filled by anxiety.
- We’re trapped in a transactional mindset. Superficial interactions and a relentless focus on ROI have left us hypervigilant and stressed.
\ But there’s hope. We can rewire our brains and rewrite our narratives.
\ Embrace discomfort. Intentionally seek out challenges that push your boundaries.
- Reframe your stories. Challenge negative thought patterns and create empowering narratives.
- Hack your brain. Use tools like the exposure ladder and cognitive reframing to build resilience.
\ The science is clear: you have the power to overcome anxiety.
\ It starts with understanding its roots and embracing the discomfort that modern life has tried to eliminate.
\ If you want to listen to the full podcast, listen on successstorypodcast.com or on YouTube.
https://youtu.be/k3fydZH7ejE?si=3AD8qUcftC_GLUGp&embedable=true
The Anxiety Paradox: Why Running Makes it Worse (and Better)
Let’s talk about something uncomfortable.
\ Something we all feel but often don’t discuss openly: Anxiety.
\ Now, I’m not talking about the occasional butterflies before a big presentation.
\ I’m talking about the soul-crushing, sleep-depriving, can’t-focus kind of anxiety that feels like a constant companion in the entrepreneurial journey.
\ Here’s the paradox: our instinct is to avoid the things that make us anxious.
\ Yet, like a shadow, the more we run, the larger it grows.
\ I sat down with Dr. John Delony, a psychologist who has spent years studying anxiety, says it best: “If you’re anxious about something and you avoid it, your body gets exactly what it wants.”
\ Your body is wired with an alarm system.
\ It’s designed to keep you safe by triggering a stress response when it senses danger.
\ But sometimes, this alarm system malfunctions.
\ It goes off when there’s no real threat, or it continues blaring long after the danger has passed.
\ What happens when we avoid the things that trigger this alarm?
\ We reinforce the belief that there is indeed danger.
\ We teach our bodies that the only way to be safe is to run and hide.
\ Think about it: have you ever avoided a difficult conversation only to have the dread intensify?
\ Or put off a challenging task only to have it loom larger and larger in your mind?
\ This is your body learning avoidance. And it’s a lesson you need to unlearn.
\ The Antidote: Lean Into Discomfort
The good news is you have the power to rewire this response.
\ It starts with understanding that anxiety is not the enemy.
\ It’s a messenger trying to tell you something.
\ And the only way to silence the message is to listen to it.
\ This doesn’t mean you have to dive headfirst into every fear.
\ It means taking small, intentional steps towards the things that make you anxious.
\ It means choosing discomfort over avoidance.
How Modern Life Fuels Anxiety
We live in an era of unprecedented comfort.
\ With a few taps on our smartphones, we can order food, summon a ride, or get anything we desire delivered to our doorstep.
\ We’ve engineered our lives to minimize discomfort and maximize convenience.
\ This might sound like a good thing, but it’s a double-edged sword.
\ As Dr. Delony points out, our bodies haven’t evolved to handle this level of comfort.
\ We’re wired for challenge, for struggle, for the kind of stressors that our ancestors faced on a daily basis.
\ When we remove those stressors, we disrupt our body’s natural equilibrium.
\ We create a void that anxiety rushes in to fill.
\ Think about it: how often do you feel anxious when you’re bored or idle?
\ How often does your mind race when you’re scrolling through social media, comparing yourself to others?
\ These are the symptoms of a comfort crisis.
\ We’ve become so accustomed to ease that even minor inconveniences trigger our stress response.
\ The Transactional Trap
Another factor fueling our anxiety is the transactional nature of modern life.
\ We’ve replaced deep, meaningful connections with superficial interactions.
\ We prioritize efficiency over intimacy and convenience over community.
\ This transactional mindset has seeped into every aspect of our lives, from work to relationships.
\ We’re constantly calculating the ROI of every interaction, every decision, every experience.
\ This constant calculation creates a state of hypervigilance.
\ We’re always on the lookout for threats, for opportunities, for anything that might disrupt our carefully constructed lives.
\ This hypervigilance is exhausting. It’s a breeding ground for anxiety.
\ The Antidote: Reclaim Discomfort
So, how do we break free from this comfort crisis and transactional trap?
\ We need to reclaim discomfort.
\ We need to intentionally seek out challenges that push us beyond our comfort zones.
\ This could mean anything from taking on a difficult project at work to starting a new hobby that scares you.
\ Sounds great. How do we do this?
Rewiring Your Brain: The Science of Anxiety Hacking
Let’s get into the nitty-gritty: the science behind fixing anxiety.
\ Surprise (not really), it’s your brain.
\ Neuroplasticity: Your Brain’s Superpower
Your brain is not a fixed entity.
\ It’s a dynamic, adaptable organ that is constantly changing and rewiring itself based on your experiences.
\ This is called neuroplasticity, and it’s your secret weapon in the battle against anxiety.
\ When you repeatedly avoid anxiety-inducing situations, you’re strengthening the neural pathways associated with fear and avoidance.
\ But when you confront those situations, you’re creating new neural pathways that lead to resilience and courage.
\ It’s like forging a new trail through a dense forest.
\ The more you walk that trail, the clearer and easier it becomes to navigate.
\ Similarly, the more you expose yourself to anxiety-inducing situations and manage your way through them, the less power those situations have over you.
\ The Exposure Ladder: A Framework for Facing Your Fears
\ One of the most effective tools for leveraging neuroplasticity is the exposure ladder.
\ This is a step-by-step approach to confronting your anxieties, starting with small, manageable challenges and gradually working your way up to bigger ones.
\ For example, if public speaking is a major trigger for you, your exposure ladder might look something like this:
- Practice speaking in front of a mirror.
- Record yourself giving a presentation.
- Give a presentation to a trusted friend or family member.
- Join a public speaking group or class.
- Give a presentation to a small group of strangers.
- Give a keynote speech at a conference.
\ The key is to move at your own pace and not rush the process.
\ Each successful step reinforces the neural pathways that lead to confidence and resilience, making the next step a little easier.
Mastering the Art of Story Reframing
\ The second powerful tool to tackle anxiety head-on is to understand the transformative power of reframing the stories we tell ourselves — a strategy Dr. John Delony and I believe is essential for conquering anxiety.
\ This is a major hack.
\ The Stories We Live By
As humans, we are natural storytellers.
\ We weave narratives to make sense of our experiences, our relationships, and our place in the world.
\ These stories shape our beliefs, our emotions, and, ultimately, our reality.
\ But here’s the kicker: the stories we tell ourselves are not always accurate or helpful.
\ In fact, they can often be our own worst enemies, fueling anxiety, self-doubt, and limiting beliefs.
\ Think about it. How often do you catch yourself telling stories like these?
- “I’m not good enough.”
- “I’ll never be successful.”
- “Everyone is judging me.”
- “I’m going to fail.”
\ These negative narratives can become self-fulfilling prophecies, trapping us in a cycle of anxiety and underachievement.
\ But what if we could rewrite these stories?
\ What if we could change the narrative and create a new reality for ourselves?
\ This is where reframing comes in.
\ Cognitive Reframing: Your Mental Jiu-Jitsu
Cognitive reframing, a core technique in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), is like mental jiu-jitsu.
\ It involves identifying negative thought patterns and consciously replacing them with more positive and empowering interpretations.
\ Dr. John Delony puts it bluntly, “Winning won’t make you well.”
\ Our minds often get caught in a loop of self-defeating narratives, focusing on failures, shortcomings, and worst-case scenarios.
\ These narratives can trigger and perpetuate anxiety.
\ But by actively challenging and reframing these stories, we can change our emotional response and create a more positive outlook.
\ The “What If” Technique: Flipping the Script
One powerful reframing tool is the “What If” technique.
\ Instead of dwelling on negative “what ifs” (What if I fail? What if I’m not good enough?), flip the script and focus on positive possibilities (What if I succeed? What if I exceed my expectations? What if this challenge leads to incredible growth?).
\ This simple shift in perspective can activate your brain’s reward system, releasing dopamine and other feel-good chemicals that can counteract anxiety.
\ It’s like shining a flashlight into the dark corners of your mind and illuminating the path toward a more hopeful future.
\ The ABC Model: Deconstructing Your Thoughts
\ Another helpful framework is the ABC Model.
\ This involves:
- A: Identifying the Activating Event (the situation or trigger that sparked your anxiety).
- B: Examining your Beliefs about the event (the negative thoughts and interpretations that fuel your anxiety).
- C: Recognizing the Consequences of your beliefs (the emotional and behavioral reactions that result from your anxiety).
\ By breaking down your anxious thoughts into these components, you can gain valuable insights into the underlying beliefs that drive your anxiety.
\ Once you identify these beliefs, you can challenge their validity and replace them with more accurate and empowering ones.
\ Neuroscience of Storytelling: Rewiring Your Brain
The act of reframing your narrative isn’t just a feel-good exercise; it’s backed by neuroscience.
\ Research shows that our brains are wired for storytelling.
\ The stories we tell ourselves shape our neural pathways, influencing our emotions, behaviors, and even our physical health.
\ When we consciously choose to tell ourselves positive, empowering stories, we’re literally rewiring our brains for resilience and well-being.
\ We’re strengthening the neural connections associated with optimism, hope, and self-efficacy while weakening the connections that fuel anxiety and self-doubt.
\ It’s like upgrading your mental software from an outdated, anxiety-ridden operating system to a sleek, high-performance one that empowers you to face challenges with confidence and grace.
\ Remember, you’re not just a passive observer of your thoughts and emotions.
\ You’re an active participant in creating your reality.
\ By mastering the art of reframing, you can transform your inner narrative from one of anxiety, fear, and limitation to one of courage and possibility.
\ You can become the author of your own success story, and you can rewrite the ending to any chapter that doesn’t serve you.
\ As Dr. John Delony wisely says, “If you’re anxious about something and you avoid it, your body gets exactly what it wants.”
\ But if you confront your anxiety head-on, with courage and compassion, you’ll discover a whole new level of freedom and resilience.
This content originally appeared on HackerNoon and was authored by Scott D. Clary
Scott D. Clary | Sciencx (2024-06-24T16:23:22+00:00) The Anxiety Paradox. Retrieved from https://www.scien.cx/2024/06/24/the-anxiety-paradox/
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